Richard’s
daughter was diagnosed with a
ganglioneuroma. She had surgery, radiation and chemotherapy,
and is doing well. He wrote this story for Search when I
was an editor. He and his family live in the valley, east
of San Francisco. I suppose that the most important part
of solving any problem
is to identify it, label it and then outline a course of
action. I remember in November of 1984, the neurologist
telling us. "Your daughter has a deposit in the basal
ganglia of her brain. It could be a calcium deposit or maybe
a cyst." He went all around the word "tumor"
as if we couldn’t handle it, He was almost right. It was
damn hard to handle.
I
came home, back to my radiator and muffler shop, and called
my banker. With tear in my eyes and a shaking voice, I asked
his for enough money to run the business for six months,
because I knew one of my little girls was going to need
all of us by her side. God bless my banker and our small
town for the support which we got.
It
wasn’t until early in 1985 that I finally realized the problem
and was able to say it, "My daughter has cancer."
I think I did every thing I could in the first two months
to avoid saying that. I kept my mind occupied with the problems,
the many trips to San Francisco, the arrangements that had
to be made, our young daughter, Stephanie; almost anything
to keep from saying, "Leslie had a brain tumor."
I’m pretty good at fixing
things. It took me a long time to realize they couldn’t
just cut this thing out. They couldn’t just fix it.
One starts to ask the same
question every parent asks. Why my kid? Why us? Cancer in
kids is something that happens in big cities, not small
town folks like us. We eat simple, eat fresh food and live
healthy lives. Heck, Leslie is a class one athlete. She
races an 80KX Kawasaki. She's no wimp!. But you know what,
cancer doesn’t care about that.
So, at this point, your family
finally becomes one. You tell your friends, your families,
your church that you need their thoughts and prayers. You
become as tough as your kid and say –and most important
know-that your "pride and joy" is going to beat
this problem. Your learn about radiation and chemotherapy.
Your dinner conversations include words and terms that you
never knew existed.
You meet other people from
different parts of the state, nation and world with problems
that make yours look small in comparison. Then you say,
"thank you Lord for letting us handle this and steering
us in the right direction." You learn to accept that
some of the kids you’ve met might not make it. But not your
kid, because you know she will, The word is attitude, You
must be positive.
Well, Leslie has made it,
and made it well. She was on the honor roll her entire sophomore
year and also on the high school track team. Her special
event is the low hurtles. She had a bad fall at the first
of the season but came bouncing back at the end. She is
currently Cotton Queen in Corcoran , our town. She is past
Honored Queen of Job’s Daughters and does an excellent job
in her memory work. She conducts the meeting well and has
spoken before such groups as the Chamber of Commerce of
Corcoran and has received a standing ovation. When she graduated
from eight grade, she received the American Legion Award.
She accepted it in a beautiful dress and almost no hair,
but I don’t think anyone noticed the lack of hair.
Yes, we’re proud of both of
our daughters. We are thankful for the strong attitudes
and an amazing will to live. Leslie has a tremor remaining
on her right side, not bad, but it makes for a good laugh
to watch her carry drinks in her right hand. She has gone
from right-handed to left, and her memory is not as great
as it once was. But that’s what note pads are for.
Parents, it doesn’t make it
any easier, but what you feel, we all feel. When my daughter
gets ‘down" I remind her-and me- of the motorcycle
racers’ motto, "when in doubt, you’ve got to go for
it."
Reprinted
with permission from Navigating Through a Strange Land:
A Book for Brain Tumor Patients and Their Families by
Tricia Ann Roloff, former editor National Tumor Foundation
, Indigo Press 1995,P.O. Box 968, West Fork, AR 72774-0968.
Phone: 888 294-8127